i’m still wearing sweaters and wishing that it was warmer. my red polished, summer-time ready, toes are hiding out in depths of blue and aqua fuzzy socks that look look like the sea and remind me that i’m far from it. i’m housebound in the middle of the country. although, truth be told, i’m concerned about warming my soul more than my winter white arms. souls can get cold, you know. they don’t always send a shiver or create prickly bumps to let you know they are getting cold, chilly, or, almost even, frozen. it happens, usually, when you are not paying attention. or when something is taking all of your attention. so much so that one day, while your at your kitchen sink, just washing crusty and dinner caked dishes, you all of sudden realize you suddenly don’t feel much at all. numb is the temperature of soul cold. i’m no expert. i’m only a student myself, and this past year has been a schooling in subjects i didn’t know i’d be subjected to. learning lessons i didn’t even know needed learning. and, un-learning things i wasn’t even aware that i had learned, a long the way. this week it’s clear that i’ve stumbled into the class where the cirriculum calling is gratitude.
thankfulness, thoroughly. i started a book and there it was, offering me the idea that thankfullness just might be “the secret worth spending a life on learning.” the very precursor to very possible joy. i went to church on sunday and the words spoken were the words almost identical to the ones i read just an hour before locked in my bathroom with the shower on. “having a thankful heart makes you notice the beautiful scenery in your life once again.” over the microphone and noted in my heart. and then, just when i was still not getting how important this same day lesson was, for me, my mom sent me a text saying we have to practice gratitude. it’s not an attitude. it’s a practice. “that is what brene brown said”, she says. yeah, i read that in my book too. i read that “practice is the hardest part of learning, and training is the essence of transformation.” i need to practice thankfulness. to work at it. to wear it. to live it. make it part of my day, not just part of my week. make it part of my hour, not just part of my day. maybe, make it my breath because my breath is tired of sounding like a moan and at best a sigh.
the idea that i’m reading about is that you make a list. not to check thankfulness off your other list, but instead, to help you see. to give your eyes an assignment and something to focus on other than the things that have been seeing to it that you sigh. things like, warm white sweaters and fuzzy furry socks when you are cold. munchin voices that trail down your long hallway. warm buttered toast. you see? you’re seeing. noticing. practicing.
i’m going to practice wearing thankfulness. writing thankfulness. going about my day, all day, with gratitude. looking to see what i don’t always see. it’s a practice, so i won’t be perfect. but, it’s one of those tests i’m certain i’ll keep taking until i pass. and then, i have to pass it along. you know? blow some embers on some half frozen souls that might not even know they are cold or can’t even feel that they are not feeling, yet. i hope your day is thankFULL. more seeing, less sighing.
what are you thankful for today?
me?
breakfast in my warm robe with 2 little boys, one in his lightning decorated underwear and the other in obnoxious red and blue character pj’s
a lion king kitty cat that is curious by day and cuddly by night
good books with words that keep writing long after they have been printed and the ink has dried.
if you’d like a reminder, i’ve created a desktop download, of the above quote. you can download it here.
p.s. another desktop here and more things to think on here.